Petrochemical Giant’s Division of Social Irresponsibility Posts Record Quarter

Office celebrates with cupcakes, “Club-A-Baby-Seal” booth

May 7 • thenotworker

Resumé Wins Pulitzer Prize For Fiction

Graduate of Oxford, Culinary Institute of America, and Beauxbatons Academy of Magic wows committee.

May 4 • thenotworker

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April 2026

Actual Job Posting - Sr. Director, Innovations-Rigids - Novolex

Director, Innovations-Flaccids is the stepping-stone to this role

Apr 29 • thenotworker

Executive Compensation Committee Approves Articles of Surrender

Vote was unanimous, shocking exactly no one

Apr 24 • thenotworker

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CEO Takes Substantial Pay Cut To Save Worker Jobs

Also converts personal rocket ship into soup kitchen

Apr 1 • thenotworker

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March 2026

Actual Job Posting - Senior Perfumer

A right posh nose deserves 100,000 quid!

Mar 12 • thenotworker

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Devoted Employee Detects Shift In Corporate Culture Following Flogging

Whip it. Whip it good.

Mar 11 • thenotworker

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Actual Job Posting - Vice President, Workforce of the Future - The Walt Disney Company

To Infinity ... And Beyond! With a nice dental plan.

Mar 10 • thenotworker

Office Wife Awarded $47 Million In Divorce From Office Husband

Landmark decision to impact work-based friendtuationships nationwide

Mar 9 • thenotworker

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"I Got Your Daylight Saving Time Right Here!"

Guess who's back, back again?

Mar 8

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January 2026

Actual Job Posting - Head of Preparedness - OpenAI

Something you want to tell us, Sam Altman? Should we be stocking up on potable water?

Jan 6 • thenotworker

Actual Job Posting - AVP - Global Creative, Urban Decay - L'Oréal

Because nothing screams "Unattainable Beauty Standards" like "Urban Decay"

Jan 2 • thenotworker