"I Got Your Daylight Saving Time Right Here!"
Guess who's back, back again?
How ya doin’?
It’s Daylight Saving Time.
Ol’ Mister Spring Ahead. Circadian Rhythm’s Sauron. Notorious DST!
Back again like clockwork. (BOOM! Pun intended. You’re welcome.)
I gotta say, I’m disappointed in all a youse.
Every year with the bellyaching: “I miss my extra hour of sleep! Waaaaa!”
Boo-friggin’-hoo. I’ll give ya something to cry about. Like this, whiners: You’ll make up your precious Z’s that first week you’re dead.
Oh? Wait? What’s that?
The dirt nap puts things in perspective, don’t it? I thought so. You’re welcome.
Just accept me along with death, taxes, and more Final Destination sequels. Not really “final,” Hollywood. Just sayin’.
And Hawaii and most of Arizona? Youse can go your own way. I respect your stones.
Another thing: Lay off the farmers. DST ain’t on them. They’re hard-working Americans who make them clean vegan yuzu plant-based Benedict matcha protein bowls of yours possible.
If you got beef (or soyrizo, whatever the hell that is), it’s with me.
But like a wise guy once said, “Frankie, my dear, who gives a damn.”
Enjoy the sunshine, kids.
See ya March 14, 2027.